Tuesday, October 21, 2014

(This story was translated from French to English on 1988, August 22- 30.)
It was a dark stormy night. The rain hadn’t stopped pouring for the third week in a row. And the streets were almost overflown. I had just finished washing the clothes as best as I could. But it was almost impossible to dry them with the weather. And I heard a loud knocking on the door. As I approached I could almost tell who it was. It was the patrols again. They always seem to pick the worst times.
“Yes hello. Can I help you” I said as I looked at the two tall brawny men.
“Yes” The taller one replied. “We are looking for a certain Gretel Autry have you seen her?”
“No I haven’t seen her in a couple months Why did she do something wrong?”
“Oh no we just wanted to check up on her. She told us a couple months ago that some young boys were making a ruckus. And we wanted to follow up on the report. But we can’t seem to find her” Different story but same message every time. Man these guys sure were inventive.
“Oh well do come in your letting in all the cold air. I can’t stand to see you work so hard outside in the rain. “
“Why thank you miss”
I led them to our small living room and sat them down.
“I’ll come back with some tea just wait a second.” I put the water on to bowl and came back.
“So what was the problem with Gretel with the boys? She was telling me something but I don’t seem to remember the whole story” I asked
“Well these boys always made fun of her for her heritage.” The lead officer continued
“Her heritage what was her heritage?”
“We believe she is of Jewish decent.” The other man who hadn’t talked at all sneered a little bit.  I almost threw up in my mouth.
“Oh wow I hadn’t noticed. She did have some interesting stories from her childhood but she never told me she was a Jew.”
“We have some strong evidence to suggest she was of Jewish decent.”
“And what would these boys do to her?”
“Oh they would just say insult that her parents were vermin and other such things”
“Wow how horrible”
“Oh really maam and what is your heritage?”
“Can you not tell from my accent I’ve only had the blood of French in my heritage.”
“Oh yes no doubt maam do you have any documents to show this. If you could show us that would be greatly appreciated”
“Oh not a problem and let me get the tea as well I think It’s boiling” I walked away disgusted. I can’t believe these monsters really believe these things about Jews. I got my papers and came back to the tea. Hmm I think I’ll try this flavor this time.  
“Here you go” I gave the lead officer the papers and his tea. “I’ll come back to get your tea shortly”
“Take your time” The younger officer said. Of course they want to inspect my documents fully. I got his tea and came back
“And here you are” I curtsied slightly as I gave him his drink. He grinned widely in turn. Both of the officers hadn’t touched the tea yet.
“Drink up gentlemen it’s a home remedy for the cold and should help you keep strong. And it’s also a custom in France to drink tea in a neighbor’s home.
The lead officer tried the tea slightly and kept scanning the documents.
“What is in this tea it seems kind of strong?” He questioned
“Just a recipe passed down in the family from my grandmother. She was very good at gathering herbs in the wilderness. And she found out this one kind of herb can improve your health”
“Well your papers seem to be in order. Thank you so much for showing us. Now if you don’t mind could we look around your house?”
“Oh yes for sure but make sure you finish your tea of else you won’t be strong.”
“Yes maam” They gulped down the tea now and then went around checking the house.
I stayed and folded laundry in the meantime. For monsters at least these men had good manners. I wonder how they treat their kids and wives. Or if they can get a wife in the first place. Well sooner or later they will find it. It’s only a matter of time.
“Oh maam could you help us with something”
“Yes I’ll be right there” I walked into my room. And found the two officers standing around a trap door.
“Could you please explain this trap door maam”
“Trapdoor? I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“This trapdoor underneath carpet by your bed. I’m afraid miss we are going to have to detain you”
“For what I haven’t done anything”
“This is all we need to see to arrest you. You know the rules all Jews must be reported immediately to your officer in charge. Hiding a Jew is against the law.”
“This isn’t Germany this is France we don’t care about your hatred to Jews.”
“Maam you are under German control now and will leave under German rule. Now please let’s go quietly to the barracks and we can judge you before bed time.”
“One thing before I go officers. Can I get a picture of my husband to remember? It’s in my closet” I pointed over to my closet and the officers looked at each other.
The lead officer responded “I will check it first and then you can come get your picture. We don’t want any problems maam.”
“I assure you there won’t be any problems officer” I said sobbing “I only want my husband’s picture to remember in jail.” The officer checked the closet for the next five minutes. While I sobbed in my hands.
“Maam you may now retrieve your picture”
“T-T-T-Thank  y-y-y-y-y-you” I finally managed to say between sobs. I took a picture off of my dresser and walked out of the closet.
“Maam we know this house has been checked before why didn’t the other officers find this trap door”
“Those other officers never found it because they never checked my room. Because I told them that my husband had died there the day before”
“How did he die?”
“My husband found interest in another lady. And I happened to find out. So one day after work I gave him a special kind of tea. One that is made of a special brew from herbs in the woods. This tea nullifies your muscles. And then when you go to sleep you don’t wake up.” Both officers looked at each other scared
“I’ll be going now see you later.” I ran out the doorway as fast as I could. The officers tried to chase me but by now the herb was working and they couldn’t run. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed my iron pan and swung it into the face of the lead officer. His neck broke on contact and he was out cold. The second officer limped in a little bit slower. He tried to reach for his gun but I smacked his hand with the pan.
“I’m not going to kill you fast like the other officer. I’m going to make monsters like you learn a lesson in pain. Do you want to know what is down that trap door. If you checked you wouldn’t have had any problems. There are no jews down that whole. There are only bodies of all the men who have cheated on women. Jews and whites included. And I can tell by the sick person you are you would do it too. We are sick of people like you. When you make a commitment to a women you better keep it. Or else you can drink the herb.”
I smacked his legs with the frying pan and then grabbed a pillow. I took his gun and put the pillow around it. I shot two shots one in both knee cap. He tried to scream in pain but his jaw wouldn’t open.
“Feels good doesn’t it, next time you should think before you kill innocent people.”
I took off the handle of my ironing pan to reveal a sharp metal spike and I drove it into his spine. And dragged the spike down his back. I then shoved the spike into his skull and stomped onto the frying pan repeatedly until his head resembled the muddy outside. That should teach them
I think that’s sixty-three now you have tasted my grandmother’s brew. And no one comes back.

“Aww shoot more laundry to do. Cursed it is so hard to get the bloodstains out.”